The F-word

Two weeks ago, I was asked what forgiveness means to me…I still don’t have a clear answer. But I can say that its choosing to love again.

Forgiveness is something that every human being comes across a couple of times in their life, from a child to an adult. FYI, I’m writing this whilst listening to Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘traitor’ just to tap into today’s topic. 😊

Personally, forgiving was not a hard thing for me to do- or that’s at least what I thought. As a child, I was kind of ‘forced’ to forgive, for example when someone does something bad to me, I’d be forced to forgive them immediately after they said sorry and gave me a ‘huggie’. That would erase all the emotions I was feeling during the disagreement. For the longest time I thought that was the process of forgiveness- say sorry and hug it out.

Fast forward to my more mature years, when someone would hurt me, I’d feel obliged to forgive them on the spot, its like my feelings would get delayed as soon as I’m betrayed. Sometimes it’s like I would turn a blind eye and I’d immediately rush to saying, ‘It’s okay’. However, whenever I’d see them there would be some sort of strong feeling that I cannot articulate but it had a sense of anger. That’s when I knew I didn’t forgive them like how God would want me to, I probably did with my mouth but not with my heart.

Forgiveness is so hard but to be honest it’s freeing. I also believe it’s not meant to be rushed; I would add on to say take your time as long as it will come from the heart.

On the other side, I still find it hard to forgive myself even for the slightest inconvenience or an honest mistake. It’s like I’ve put myself on this ‘perfect human being’ platform(not even the arrogant type of platform) and I’m far from that. However, this is going to be a conversation for another post. Stay tuned!

I hope you understand the importance of forgiveness. Take the lessons and move on, it is possible. You will never regret it.

I also hope everything you do is genuine. God doesn’t want robots- he wants us to do everything wholeheartedly including forgiving others. Don’t rush your emotions, acknowledge them, and go through it. Always remember you are doing it for you, for your future relationships and friendships.

Thank you for reading and please leave a comment and like.